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Working Out

As a parent, I’ve come to realize how quickly stress can build up and how important it is to find a healthy way to release it—not just for me but for my family. Exercise has become my go-to practice for building positive endorphins and creating mental space.

It’s not just about staying in shape; it’s about clearing my head and managing my emotions. After a workout, I’m calmer, more patient, and more present for my partner and kids. Taking care of myself this way helps me handle stress and sets a positive example for my family.

But sometimes, despite my best intentions, I don’t get the workout I hoped for. And I can never predict whether it’s going to feel great or frustrating. At first, those off days left me feeling like I was failing myself and my family.

Then I realized mindfulness could help—not just during exercise but in how I handle moments like these. Instead of beating myself up, I remind myself that it’s okay to have off days. I focus on accepting reality, learning from the experience, and moving forward. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up.

Here are five mindfulness-inspired questions to reflect on when you fail a workout:

  1. What am I noticing about the thoughts coming up?

    • Are they judgmental, critical, or compassionate? Observe them like guests arriving at your door without immediately reacting.

      • Frustrated Feelings:

        • Overwhelmed

        • Defeated

        • Critical

        • Anxious

        • Irritated

        • Self-conscious

      • Mindful Feelings:

        • Curious

        • Observant

        • Detached

        • Open

        • Non-judgmental

      • I notice my thoughts want me to believe a narrative of being overwhelmed, defeated, or even lost, which stirs up emotions like shame or frustration. But when I approach them with curiosity and non-judgment, I can observe them more openly. This shift creates room for real questions and progress, moving me to ask: What story am I telling myself? Am I stuck in the easy tale of inadequacy and shame, or can I gently and thoughtfully sit with the truth of the moment and create space for growth?


  2. What story am I telling myself about this failure?

    • Is it, "I’m not good enough," or "I’ve lost my edge"? Recognize the narrative and question whether it’s true or helpful.

      • Frustrated Feelings:

        • Ashamed

        • Hopeless

        • Inadequate

        • Embarrassed

        • Angry

        • Stuck

      • Mindful Feelings:

        • Reflective

        • Accepting

        • Thoughtful

        • Aware

        • Gentle

        • Reassured

    • I notice the story I’m telling myself: that I’m inadequate, stuck, or should feel ashamed. This narrative feels easy to cling to but only deepens the sense of defeat. Instead, I can sit gently and thoughtfully with the reality of the situation, allowing space to separate myself from the story. By doing this, I can begin to accept the moment as it is—not resisting or grasping for a different outcome—and that leads me to ask: Can I meet this moment with patience and presence?


  3. Can I accept this moment as it is?

    • Instead of resisting or wishing it were different, practice sitting with the reality of today’s performance, knowing it will pass.

      • Frustrated Feelings:

        • Resistant

        • Stubborn

        • Upset

        • Regretful

        • Uncomfortable

        • Frustrated

      • Mindful Feelings:

        • Calm

        • Patient

        • Grounded

        • Peaceful

        • Understanding

        • Compassionate

    • I notice the resistance in accepting this moment as it is—wishing it were different or feeling frustrated by what happened. But when I practice sitting with this reality, I find a way to let go of the fight against it. Acceptance doesn’t mean I’m okay with everything; it means I’m allowing myself to be here without adding more struggle. From this space of calm, I can ask: What can I learn from watching these thoughts? What patterns are emerging that could help me grow?


  4. What can I learn from watching these thoughts?

    • Treat this experience as an opportunity to see patterns—like perfectionism or fear of failure—that may arise in other areas of life.

      • Frustrated Feelings:

        • Defensive

        • Closed-off

        • Hopeless

        • Negative

        • Discouraged

        • Blaming

      • Mindful Feelings:

        • Curious

        • Reflective

        • Open-minded

        • Hopeful

        • Empowered

        • Insightful

    • By watching my thoughts, I notice recurring patterns—like self-criticism or perfectionism—that try to pull me into blame or frustration. But instead of getting caught up, I can approach these patterns with curiosity and see them as opportunities to understand myself better. This learning creates a sense of empowerment and possibility, leading me to the next step: How can I return to the present moment? How can I refocus on what’s here and now, rather than staying stuck in the past?


  5. How can I return to the present moment?

    • Shift from replaying the "failure" to appreciating what’s still available—your effort, your body, and the opportunity to try again tomorrow.

      • Frustrated Feelings:

        • Restless

        • Distracted

        • Stuck

        • Regretful

        • Defeated

        • Tense

      • Mindful Feelings:

        • Present

        • Relaxed

        • Grateful

        • Centered

        • Grounded

        • Intentional


        • Returning to the present moment means letting go of the replaying and regret, grounding myself in what is here now. I can focus on my breath, the feeling of my feet on the ground, or the effort I gave today. This isn’t about ignoring what happened but about shifting my attention from the ‘should haves’ to what I can still appreciate. By being fully present, I remind myself that every moment is a new opportunity to show up and try again.



These questions help you approach a missed workout not as a problem to solve but as an experience to observe and learn from.

What Did I Observe?

Step 1:
I was quick to tell myself, “I lost today,” and wave the white flag, which isn’t something I usually do. Observing that I felt defeated and incapable was hard, but it also gave me the space to move forward.

Step 2:
I noticed the narrative forming: “I’m in trouble because I’m good at running outside, but clearly I struggle running inside.” The story became, “I’m good at some things, but not what I need to be right now.” Instead of clinging to that, I created space by recognizing that running inside simply presents different advantages and challenges. It’s not necessarily about me—just the circumstances.

Step 3:
The truth is, I need to accept what happened. The irony? I wish I’d accepted the difference in circumstances before I started the workout—I would have prepared differently. By not addressing that things were different, I set myself up to reject reality. Now, I’m not okay with my results, but that’s even more reason to be present with them instead of adding more struggle to the experience.

Step 4:
I asked myself: Do I see patterns here that show up in other areas of my life? I realized I have a streak of perfectionism. It’s not just about being the best; it’s about “my way.” If things don’t go how I like them, I can easily get discouraged. Seeing this clearly helps me notice it elsewhere and start to shift that tendency.

Step 5:
Now, I can return to the present moment. Each breath reminds me that every moment offers a new opportunity. By staying mindful and grounded, I can let go of frustration and be free to approach my next workout with a clearer, more intentional mindset.